Remembering my dad

Yesterday was Memorial Day and we celebrated and honored my father who passed away before Jesse was born, 12 years ago. He was in the Korean war. I miss him so. He was my biggest fan and was so proud of everything I did. I know he would have been ecstatic about us adopting Jade Lin and now Meizi Meilin. He would have been the proud grandfather (Ye Ye) and would have shown their photos to everyone he ran into. He adopted me when I was two, 44 years ago and he would have been so happy for me that I had come full circle. Being adopted and adopting two children would have made him so happy and proud. I'm sad that he never saw this happen but I can feel him every day and I know he is still in our corner and our biggest fan with our adoptions. His presence is felt along with the hand of God in our adoptions and I know he approves.

We took an hour long bike hike yesterday too. We biked along the river by the Coon Rapids Dam where there were many Asian families fishing. We had to make a stop when my husband, Scott needed to use a "Porta Potty". There was an Asian mother holding two twin babies near by, that were under a year old and so beautiful. I couldn't help but stare and smile, smile, smile. The mother looked up and noticed me smiling at the babies and smiled back. When we got back on our bikes to continue the ride, I picked up the pace, urgently. Scott asked what the rush was and I told him, I wanted to get home to our Asian baby. He said, the one at home or the one on paper? I said both but it made me realize that Meizi Meilin is still not real to us yet, she is still a dream and she will probably not feel real till we are holding her in our arms. So we continue dreaming of her and praying for her. The photos we received of her orphanage and the village and town that surround it, helped us to realize that there is such a place. There are real photos and documentation. Adoption is so different then being pregnant, just as wonderful but different. You can feel your baby move inside you and you know it is real, you don't have any idea what your baby will look like or what personality traits it will inherit, but you know there is a child there that will be born soon. With a special needs adoption, you see the face of your child before you ever get to hold them and it makes the process feel so surreal. You love a photo before you ever hold your child, which makes it feel very much like a dream, until they are in your arms. I remember our 1st day in China when we were walking from our hotel room to Tian amen Square and telling Scott to pinch me because I still couldn't believe we were in China and we were going to get our baby in three days. Even once we landed in China, it was still a dream until Jade Lin was handed to me, howling in Mandarin, Ai Ya, Ai Ya, Ai Ya!! ( means big trouble or Oh, No! ) so we will continue to hope, pray and dream of Meizi Meilin until she is on our arms.
Love you and miss you dad!