She sleeps with a little towel

It's Sunday today and I'm praying that this is the week that we receive an up-date on Meizi Meilin. Our Chinese liason, Tu, who is working with our agency is trying to get a hold of the orphanage director where Meizi Meilin Rose is now living. All last week was a holiday in China so no work was done. The report we received on Meizi Meilin is over 8 months old, as are the photos we received. Once again, I'm dreaming of what she will look like 9 months older. Little ones at this age change so fast in a very short amount of time. When we traveled to China to bring Jade Lin home, Tu handed us a recent photo of her as we stepped off the plane. I was worried that it wasn't the same baby, she had changed drastically! I would know her little heart shaped mouth, any where and it was this that reassured me it was truly our daughter. When she was placed in my arms in Wuhan on October 28th, 2002, on my birthday, she was a year old and again had changed drastically from the photo we had just received but I would know her little mouth any where. It was branded on my heart. That sweet little mouth was now open wide in a mournful howl that would break the coldest heart. This sweet little girl had so many life altering changes at such a young age and my heart went out to her, broke for her. My soul purpose in life suddenly became to make her happy, comfort her and never let any one or anything hurt her. In an instant I became the protective mother panda and I felt a fierce need to shelter her from all the pain and fear she was feeling at that moment. I will never be able to explain in words the magnitude of this moment, mother meeting child for the 1st time. It was a miracle to behold. There is no other explanation for it. I dream every day of what the moment will be like when we 1st hold Meizi Meilin. She will be older then Jade Lin was by almost a year. Jade Lin was crying in Mandarin when we received her, "AI YA!, AI YA, AI YA!!!" We found out later that this means "OH NO" or "BIG TROUBLE" in Mandarin and I'm sure at that moment that is what we were to her, big trouble and oh no, they are taking me away from the only care takers I have known. Will Meizi Meilin mourn and howl this Mandarin saying? or will she smile and embrace my hug? I have heard of these miracles where the baby smiles and doesn't utter a sound when they are handed over to their new parents. How amazing that would be.
I will pray for an up-date on Meizi Meilin this week and pray that she is safe and loved till we can hold her. Pray that someone is holding her when she cries and loving her hurt and fears away. Mama is dreaming and praying for you sweet Meizi Meilin, you have no idea how much you are loved and wanted!