Remembering my dad

Yesterday was Memorial Day and we celebrated and honored my father who passed away before Jesse was born, 12 years ago. He was in the Korean war. I miss him so. He was my biggest fan and was so proud of everything I did. I know he would have been ecstatic about us adopting Jade Lin and now Meizi Meilin. He would have been the proud grandfather (Ye Ye) and would have shown their photos to everyone he ran into. He adopted me when I was two, 44 years ago and he would have been so happy for me that I had come full circle. Being adopted and adopting two children would have made him so happy and proud. I'm sad that he never saw this happen but I can feel him every day and I know he is still in our corner and our biggest fan with our adoptions. His presence is felt along with the hand of God in our adoptions and I know he approves.

We took an hour long bike hike yesterday too. We biked along the river by the Coon Rapids Dam where there were many Asian families fishing. We had to make a stop when my husband, Scott needed to use a "Porta Potty". There was an Asian mother holding two twin babies near by, that were under a year old and so beautiful. I couldn't help but stare and smile, smile, smile. The mother looked up and noticed me smiling at the babies and smiled back. When we got back on our bikes to continue the ride, I picked up the pace, urgently. Scott asked what the rush was and I told him, I wanted to get home to our Asian baby. He said, the one at home or the one on paper? I said both but it made me realize that Meizi Meilin is still not real to us yet, she is still a dream and she will probably not feel real till we are holding her in our arms. So we continue dreaming of her and praying for her. The photos we received of her orphanage and the village and town that surround it, helped us to realize that there is such a place. There are real photos and documentation. Adoption is so different then being pregnant, just as wonderful but different. You can feel your baby move inside you and you know it is real, you don't have any idea what your baby will look like or what personality traits it will inherit, but you know there is a child there that will be born soon. With a special needs adoption, you see the face of your child before you ever get to hold them and it makes the process feel so surreal. You love a photo before you ever hold your child, which makes it feel very much like a dream, until they are in your arms. I remember our 1st day in China when we were walking from our hotel room to Tian amen Square and telling Scott to pinch me because I still couldn't believe we were in China and we were going to get our baby in three days. Even once we landed in China, it was still a dream until Jade Lin was handed to me, howling in Mandarin, Ai Ya, Ai Ya, Ai Ya!! ( means big trouble or Oh, No! ) so we will continue to hope, pray and dream of Meizi Meilin until she is on our arms.
Love you and miss you dad!

Bad Mama?

Jade Lin is smitten with the two Vietnamese boys next door who are soooo cute (8 yrs and 6 yrs). I let her stay outside till 10pm Friday night playing with them in the yard and told her yesterday that she would have to come in at 8:30 for a bath. You would have thought I was giving her a bath for the 1st time, which made me think of her 1st bath in China, (blood curdling screams!) I pacified her by letting her eat a "Freeze" in the tub;-) Problem solved;-) I know the neighbors three blocks away must have heard her and I thought they are thinking, "And China is letting them adopt another little girl? ;-)My mind is thinking ahead of the boy years and wondering what I am in for;-);-)AI YA!!!! (big trouble or oh,no in mandarin)

I finished Meizi Meilin's oversized crib comforter today. I posted a photo of it. It turned out so adorable! I can't wait to finish Jade Lin's matching twin size comforter! I am also making Jade Lin a matching standard sham and I have enough material left to make a matching doll comforter. I can't wait to see the whole set done and redecorate their room with the coordinating paint colors, it should be beautiful! It helps me from thinking about the wait and grieving for Meizi Meilin because she isn't home yet. Decorating the girls room will be such a blessing and will keep me busy for a while.

Day 32 in the wait for our LOA

It's day 32 in the wait for our letter of acceptance to adopt Meizi Meilin Rose who is getting older by the day, week and month and every day we aren't with her makes my heart ache. I had to do something today after watching the CD with her birth village photos and the photos of her orphanage where she is waiting for us, I was in tears and decided I needed to start sewing the girl's matching comforter sets. I have vowed not to buy Meizi Meilin anything else till we get to China. Shopping makes me happy but I'm using my willpower to wait and shop for her once we get to China. They have adorable "Squeaky Shoes" for the little ones that I can't wait to buy. I bought Jade Lin three pairs when we were in China and I was so sad when she outgrew them. I bought her a pair once we were home when she outgrew the others but by that time she was old enough to look at me with a look that said, What are these and why are you making me wear these;-) It was funny but kind of sad at the same time so I put them away for her to give to her babies when she is older;-)

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

Up-date on Meizi Meilin's growth and development on day 30 of our wait for our letter of acceptance;-);-);-)

We received a wonderful gift today!! Our up-date on Meizi Meilin's growth and development! I'm even more in love with her after reading it;-) She is tiny, 17.6 lbs and 29" inches, at 18 months, but I know she will catch up quickly once we get her home and on solid foods. She is eating mostly rice cereal and still on formula bottles.
She is a good sleeper and falls asleep on her own after her bottle and is crawling, sitting and walking on her own! She has 12 teeth!! We will be taking her to the dentist as soon as we get home and start brushing her teeth as soon as we get her. I know Jade Lin will be a big comfort and help to her with this. She can show Meizi Meilin how to brush her teeth by example. Meizi Meilin is saying Mama and Baba (Daddy) in Mandarin and follows simple instructions. She loves toys that make noise and is active and outgoing and loves playing with the kids in her class, which makes me think they must have some sort of preschool class in the orphanage. I was disappointed that we didn't receive any new photos but I'm still hoping we receive them.
What a great surprise and blessing to receive this report on our 30th day of waiting for our letter of acceptance to adopt her!!
Mama and Baba love you so, Meizi Meilin and can't wait to hold you in our arms, sweet little angel!!

Day 29 in the wait for our Letter Of Acceptance to adopt and I'm back to sewing!!

It is day 29 in our wait for our letter of acceptance to adopt Meizi Meilin and I'm back to sewing, thank God!! I finished a twin size comforter set for a mother in WI, for her year old son. It is so adorable! She chose a vintage baseball print that I backed with the softest bright blue flannel. I sewed bright blue ribbon and maroon ribbon on the flags that are flying from the baseball stadium. So cute! I will have to post a photo of it. Today I'm finishing a double fleece, fringe tied, twin blanket that has stars and panda bears on it in red, blue and yellow. I bought yellow fleece to back it with and I know the mom that ordered it will be surprised and very happy with it. She asked to be surprised and I can't wait to hear how she likes it. I also just received an order for one of my doll comforters out of the "China girl" print that I posted a photo of. I know it will be so adorable when it is finished.

My blankets and comforters have been keeping me busy but I did check out the airfare for our travel yesterday and I was very surprised. It has gone up so much since we traveled in 2002, I don't know if we will have enough money to take Jade Lin. Even with the Northwest adoption fare discount, we are looking at over 2,000.00 for Scott and I each and between 1800-2,000.00 for Jade Lin who is five. We are praying to travel before Meizi Meilin turns two or we pay a full adult fare for her too. If she is under two, she can sit on my lap and it is a faction of an adult fare, about 250.00.
Still no up-date on Meizi Meilin's growth and development. I did receive 143 photos of her home town, surrounding village and country side and orphanage. The photos are priceless and very emotional. There are photos of Chinese people eating outside, working in the open markets, going to work on bikes and shopping. I couldn't help but wonder if any of the people or children in the photos could be her biological family members. The surrounding country side and housing looks very poor but the new buildings, like the hospital, new orphanage, bank, library, Civil Affairs Department, Police Station and schools looked very modern and gave me some comfort that she is being raised in a beautiful town with gorgeous parks, temples, court yards and squares. I hope that the nannies are able to take the babies outside to the beautiful park nearby. Thoughts like these carry me through the long wait till we can bring hold Meizi Meilin Rose. I'm praying for our letter of acceptance and travel approval to come soon!

Day 25 in the wait for our Letter Of Acceptance

It is day 25 in our wait for our Letter Of Acceptance to bring Meizi Meilin Rose home from China. She is 18 months now and my thoughts, prayers and dreams are filled with her. Other families that are waiting for their Letter Of Acceptance to adopt have waited on average, 72 days. Two and a half months to hear we are accepted to adopt and time seems to be standing still.
We will be moving our children's bedrooms around in July and that will fill my thoughts, for a while, I hope. We will move my son, Jesse into Jade Lin's smaller room and Jade Lin into Jesse's larger room so the two girls will have more room. Jesse is being a trooper about the whole thing and very excited about getting his room redecorated. He wants a army camoflauge bed set with green army netting hanging from the corner of his room. Jade Lin wants girly pink walls and I'm willing to go along with that if is isn't bubble gum pink and will be doing a lot of searching for just the right pink shade;-) Hopefully she will like a soft fushia color that will match the Chinese girl's clothing in the fabric I found to make matching comforters. The new Chinese fabric I found to make the girl's matching comforters with has a fushia pink, cream and jade green print with little Chinese girls, kittens and parasols, it is sooooo adorable! I posted a photo of the fabric. I'm backing the print with an adorable Pink checked flannel with green leaves and white daisies. Too cute to describe! I'm sure the girls will love their new comforters and matching shams and it gives me something to look forward too while waiting for Meizi Meilin;-)

Day 23 in the wait for our LOA

Today is day 23 in the wait for our LOA (Letter Of Acceptance) to adopt Meizi Meilin Rose who is 18 months old and waiting for us in China. I have her photo beside the computer so she gives me inspiration when I'm job hunting and on my sewing machine when I'm custom making my designs and comforters. She is what's keeping me going and my faith that she will be our daughter and we will bring her home from China. The wait seems like it is taking forever when the months are really flying by but when you are counting down the days and waiting for something so important, it seems like time stands still while the world keeps spinning around you.
I received a copy of our home-study for Meizi Meilin's life book today and Heather, our social worker did a fantastic job at describing our family, home and loving, nurturing, caring life style. She described us to a "T" when it came to devoting our selves to our children and marriage. I hope that our home-study translates to show how loving and nurturing we are as parent's and a couple and how much we want and love Meizi Meilin.
Four months to possible travel doesn't sound like so long, in fact it puts me in a panic when I hear it but when you are counting every day of that four plus months, it seems like a life time.
I can only hope and pray that with summer vacation almost upon us, the two boys and Jade Lin will keep me so busy that I won't dwell on the wait. If I find a full time job this summer, I know the summer will fly by and I won't have much time to enjoy it but that is the sacrifice I'm willing to make for peace of mind that we will have enough money to take Jade Lin to China and hopefully Kelly too, who is 13 and so excited about traveling to China. Jesse, our 12 year old son, has no interest in going. He is a home body and loves staying with his Aunt Michele who has a son his age. I wonder if he will regret not going when he is older, if he has the chance.

I'm still praying we receive an up-date on Meizi Meilin's growth and developement with photos. Her report is 9 months old as are the photos we received. I'm sure she has grown and changed drastically. Little ones change so much at this age that I'm praying for photos soon and a new weight on her so I can guess at what size clothing to pack for her. Something so little as a new photo and weight would mean the world to us and keep me dreaming while we wait to bring her home.

I bought my self a Mothers Day Gift and sent for a CD from Asia Threads of Meizi Meilin's orphanage, the surrounding town and village and buildings in the village. I can't wait to receive it and remember the impact seeing the spot where Jade Lin was found and the village, had on me. I was moved to tears and over whelmed, not expecting such an emotional reaction. I was so moved by the beautiful mountains and Yangtze River that flowed through Jade Lin's birth village and remember thinking they were born and bred into her and flowed through her veins. Her love of climbing, water and the outdoors surely came from those mountains and river. These photos will always be priceless to us and we are so thankful and grateful to have them. I warn parents to be prepared for the emotional reactions they may bring. I have never been so grateful to be Jade Lin's mother.

Today was a very exhausting day but a hopeful one

Today I drove my mom home to Alexandria, MN. I brought her down to see Jade Lin's dance recital Mothers Day weekend and she loved it;-) It is a 2 hour drive up and a 2 hr. drive back and a challenge with a 5 year old in the back seat. I'm exhausted and wonder how will we survive a 16 hour plane flight to China with a 5 year old. I have decided that no expense will be spared on sewing cards, tracing books, markers, crayons, chalk and a chalk board and "Color Forms", a MP3 player with a little girls favorite songs and new surprises she wasn't expecting, also a medication for mama's flying anxiety and I should be good to go;-) My doctor only gave me three of these wonder pills (Xanax)to get me through a 7 flight itinerary, last trip to bring Jade Lin home and gave me Valium, which I never took because we had Jade Lin by then and I didn't know how Valium would affect me. My poor husband, Scott, took the fall-out from my anxiety and I almost broke his hand on every take-off and landing. If there was any bad weather, I was sure to hold on to Jade Lin for dear life with one hand and had my hooks into Scott with the other hand. Usually Scott loves to fly and it is his favorite part of the trip but I was so nervous that I actually made him sick;-(
Needless to say, I'm exhausted from the trip today to Alex and was rewarded by ending the day with a trip to the dentist to get my gums scraped. I can't describe this cleaning any other way. It isn't a cleaning but a form of torture and my mouth is still sore;-( I only got through it by closing my eyes and dreaming of Meizi Meilin Rose and the moment we will first meet her and get to hold her. That dream is carrying me through all of my toughest days and again Meizi Meilin Rose has no idea how much she means to us.
Still it was a hopeful day because an angel on my "Loving China's Children" group, re-worded my resume for me out of the goodness of her heart and I'm confident that I will have renewed interest in my resume ,which I have faith, will lead to an interview and job position. I can't thank you enough Charlotte! Your an angel!

Mothers Day Sunday May 13th, 2007

It's 12:16 am and it's Mothers Day. Earlier in the evening we went to Jade Lin's dance recital and as I watched her I thanked God for the mother who adopted me 44 years earlier, who was sitting next to me. As I watched Jade Lin dance, I cried tears of joy for the blessing of Jade Lin and said a prayer for her birth mother, who I'm sure thinks of her every day. Jade Lin's birth mother gave her the greatest gift a mother can give her child, a hope, dream and wish for a better life. Jade Lin's birth mother gave her this and the gift of her birth day. She was found with a note that said October 10th was her birthday and this was the only thing Jade Lin's birth mother could give her when she left her, her birth day and the hope for a better life. I say a prayer for Meizi Meilin's birth mother who must be wondering where she is and how she is doing. Even though Meizi Meilin is not with us and waiting for us in China, I am thankful for her birth mother and grateful to her for wishing a better life for her daughter. Mothers Day is a day to celebrate mother's love for their children and the sacrifices they make for their children from this love. Our dossier went to China for Jade Lin on June 28th, 2001 which is my mother's birthday and I first held Jade Lin on my birthday, October 28th, 2002. God surely had a hand in our journey to adopt Jade Lin and I am certain he has a hand in our journey to bring Meizi Meilin home. We have an estimated travel date of October 2007 and I wonder if the first day I hold Meizi Meilin will fall on my birthday. Only time and God will tell;-)

It is the 19th day in the wait for our Letter of Acceptance to adopt Meizi Meilin and on this Mothers Day, my heart will ache for her. I think of my self as her mother even though she is not in my arms yet, she is always in my heart and prayers. My wish and prayer for my children is that they are safe, happy and healthy and this I wish for Meizi Meilin on this Mothers Day. I dream of what next years Mother's Day will bring and see a vision of my self holding Jade Lin on one knee and Meizi Meilin on the other and my wish, dream and prayers have come true. I am complete, happy and truly blessed.
Happy Mothers Day

Meizi Meilin's baby doll arrives;-)

Today is the 14th day in the wait for our Pre-approval/linking letter, as our agency calls it and our LOA (Letter Of Acceptance) I was hoping we would hear about our pre-approval letter today. I heard it usually takes two weeks to receive it after sending in your "Letter Of Intent" to adopt a special needs child. We are waiting to see if we will be one of the lucky ones that gets to skip this extra step because our Dossier was logged in the same day that our "Letter of Intent" was received at the CCAA (China Center Of Adoption Affairs). We'll see, maybe we will hear something tomorrow.

One of the highlights today was receiving Meizi Meilin's little Asian baby doll from Charlotte. She is selling these adorable dolls to raise funds for her adoption and you can find her link on my web site. They are so cute and I know Meizi Meilin will love her. Jade Lin has the 15", larger version and I can just picture the two girls playing with their little dolls, what sweet dreams!!;-)

Day 13 in our wait for our Letter Of Acceptance to adopt Meizi Meilin Rose

It's day 13, lucky or unlucky number? I look at every day as a lucky day since we have started the adoption process! I'm am blessed and so fortunate to have 6 beautiful, healthy children and about to add a 7th. Nothing gets me down these days, I see sunshine and happiness where ever I look and I walk around like I'm on cloud nine. Which I am. I have a wonderful loving husband who is a great father and have been able to start my own home-based business to raise funds for our adoption. My world couldn't be more right. The only thing missing is Meizi Meilin and my heart aches to hold her and have her home in my arms. I taped a photo of her on my sewing machine to give me inspiration to keep sewing when all I want to do is sit and stare at her photo and dream about her. What is she doing now? Is she sleeping? How is her day going? Is she laughing, having fun? Does she have a full tummy? I took a break to give Jade Lin lunch and play outside today. It is so nice, sun is shinning and it is warm, hurray! I hope it is warm, sunny and beautiful in Guangdong province where my little angel is.
I e-mailed Heather our social worker and asked if she would send us a copy of our home study that was sent to China. I'm hoping it will be fun reading and something to put in Meizi Meilin's life book.
I pray this is the week we receive her up-date with photos!

Day 12 of our Letter Of Acceptance to adopt Meizi Meilin

Today is day 12 in the wait for our Letter Of Acceptance from the CCAA (Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs). A women I don't know who read this blog, ordered one of my fleece blankets. Meizi Meilin and our adoption story and journey is touching people and it is so wonderful to see!
I read on one of my China groups that a couple received a referral from China only to be turned down because the husband was on Anti-depressents. The new regulations started May 1st but I heard the dossiers received before that day would be gone over very carefully too. Our dossier was logged in on 4-24-07 so we beat the May 1st deadline which may not make a difference any way. We are not on any kind of Anti-depressent medications and are within all the new guide lines but still this story buts a flutter in my stomach. My mind goes back to when we adopted Jade Lin in 2002 from China. The day that we received Jade Lin we were given a couple of hours to make sure she was truly the baby we were referred and that we were certain we wanted to adopt her. I stayed in our hotel room with Jade Lin while my husband, Scott went to fill out the paper work, which was my job up until that moment. When we were asked how many children we had, he should have said three but he added my two grown children from a previous marriage that our agency said we didn't need to list. When we got to our interview the next day with the officials at the Civil Affairs Department, they questioned how many children we had, even our Chinese liason that worked with our agency didn't know about my two grown children from a previous marriage. All was fine after I explained that they were grown children, not living at home, from a previous marriage but when we got back to the hotel room, I had an anxiety attack, I had never experienced this before. I was terrified that someone was going to knock on our hotel room door and take back our baby! I will make sure this time that my husband knows how many children to put down on the final adoption papers. I can't take for granted that Meizi Meilin Rose is really ours till we receive our PA (Pre-approval) and LOA to adopt and I won't rest easy till Meizi Meilin is in our arms and all the paperwork is finished. My prayer today is that we are approved to adopt Meizi Meilin and China finds no fault with us or reason to deny us. We so love this little girl already and if this were to happen, we would be devastated! Our family and friends have bonded with this little girl just by a small photo and a letter about her personality, sleeping habits, eating habits, likes and her dislikes. We have only known her for a month and it feels like she has been our daughter forever. I know this is hard to understand, it is even harder to explain. It is one of God's miracles that parent's all over the world are falling in love with children from a "Stamp-size" photo;-) It just shows how loving the human race is, how accepting and much these children are wanted.
Mama's prayer is for you today Meizi Meilin. I'm praying the CCAA can see how much we love you, care for you, and want you and will grant us our LOA to adopt you soon!

She sleeps with a little towel

It's Sunday today and I'm praying that this is the week that we receive an up-date on Meizi Meilin. Our Chinese liason, Tu, who is working with our agency is trying to get a hold of the orphanage director where Meizi Meilin Rose is now living. All last week was a holiday in China so no work was done. The report we received on Meizi Meilin is over 8 months old, as are the photos we received. Once again, I'm dreaming of what she will look like 9 months older. Little ones at this age change so fast in a very short amount of time. When we traveled to China to bring Jade Lin home, Tu handed us a recent photo of her as we stepped off the plane. I was worried that it wasn't the same baby, she had changed drastically! I would know her little heart shaped mouth, any where and it was this that reassured me it was truly our daughter. When she was placed in my arms in Wuhan on October 28th, 2002, on my birthday, she was a year old and again had changed drastically from the photo we had just received but I would know her little mouth any where. It was branded on my heart. That sweet little mouth was now open wide in a mournful howl that would break the coldest heart. This sweet little girl had so many life altering changes at such a young age and my heart went out to her, broke for her. My soul purpose in life suddenly became to make her happy, comfort her and never let any one or anything hurt her. In an instant I became the protective mother panda and I felt a fierce need to shelter her from all the pain and fear she was feeling at that moment. I will never be able to explain in words the magnitude of this moment, mother meeting child for the 1st time. It was a miracle to behold. There is no other explanation for it. I dream every day of what the moment will be like when we 1st hold Meizi Meilin. She will be older then Jade Lin was by almost a year. Jade Lin was crying in Mandarin when we received her, "AI YA!, AI YA, AI YA!!!" We found out later that this means "OH NO" or "BIG TROUBLE" in Mandarin and I'm sure at that moment that is what we were to her, big trouble and oh no, they are taking me away from the only care takers I have known. Will Meizi Meilin mourn and howl this Mandarin saying? or will she smile and embrace my hug? I have heard of these miracles where the baby smiles and doesn't utter a sound when they are handed over to their new parents. How amazing that would be.
I will pray for an up-date on Meizi Meilin this week and pray that she is safe and loved till we can hold her. Pray that someone is holding her when she cries and loving her hurt and fears away. Mama is dreaming and praying for you sweet Meizi Meilin, you have no idea how much you are loved and wanted!

Today we are on day 11 on the wait for our Letter Of Acceptance

Today is the 11th day of our wait for our Letter Of Acceptance to adopt Meizi Meilin. We have been told and have seen the the average wait for this letter is two months. It seems like we have known our daughter for years when it has only been one month. She is one month older and we are one month closer to bringing her home. I am grateful and blessed to be able to share my thoughts on this blog! It is very comforting and helps me to focus on the journey that is ahead. I received my first reply on Meizi Meilin's blog and I lovingly read it and memorized it. It is so heart warming to have the loving support and encouragement of other parents that are adopting. Their positive remarks keep me sane through the long wait. We are all in the same boat, all sharing the same milestones and are all counting down the steps and days that bring us closer to our children. I would be lost without these groups of kind people and am sharing a bond through the internet that I never imagined could be possible. There are people all over the world who are wishing and praying for Meizi Meilin which makes me feel connected on a whole other level. Praise God for these people, they along with my faith will be what carries me through till I can have Meizi Meilin in my arms. Scott and the boys are on a camping trip with the Boy Scouts this weekend and Jade Lin is napping which leaves me to my thoughts and dreams of Meizi Meilin. Jade Lin asks me weekly, "when will Meizi Meilin be here"?. To her 6 months is a life time. How do you explain to a five year old that there are many parents waiting to bring their child home and we have to wait our turn? She is ever the optimist and her love for her sister burns bright and steady. She is very protective of her little sister already. If anyone says something about Meizi Meilin's photo that she feels isn't 100% loving or positive, she says, " That is my little sister and she is cute and you need to be nice to her!" Jade Lin is forming a life long bond with Meizi Meilin just from a photo, just as we did with her. It is mystical and magical!

4-24-07 Our letter of Intent is received in China and so is our dossier!

Another amazingly, exciting day in our adoption journey. Today is a another milestone in bringing Meizi Meilin Rose home! Our dossier is logged in and our letter of intent is received in China!! Now we wait the estimated two months till we have our LOA ( Letter Of Acceptance). This is a very important letter. It says China has accepted us to adopt Meizi Meilin Rose and we are approved to be her new parents. What wonderful words those will be to read, we are accepted and approved to adopt our little angel! There are no sweeter words then those, except for the first time your little one says, "I love you"! I dream all day, everyday of Meizi Meilin Rose. I am barely getting my sewing and house work done. I long to hold her in my arms and the five months that have passed since we decided to adopt have seemed like years. I know the hardest wait is yet to come, waiting for our approval to travel and waiting to get on the plane to bring Meizi Meilin Rose home! Again I have to turn to God and have faith that all will work out the way he has planned. Faith that Meizi Meilin was meant to be our daughter and us her parents. Faith that we will one day soon, hold her and love her. I am blessed to find a group of wonderful, loving parents that have adopted little girls from Meizi Meilin's orphanage. They warmly and excitedly welcome me into their group and the information I learn from them about how their girls were taken care of and what the nannies and orphanage was like, is priceless! A women has just returned from the orphanage with her 8 yr. old daughter and tells me she thinks she has a recent photo of Meizi Meilin! There are two baby and toddler rooms connected with a play room and only one toddler had crossed eyes and fit Meizi Meilin's age. She asks if I would like to see the photo and e-mails me the picture. I am so grateful and tell this kind women that we will be eternally grateful and she has made our year. I call her "Our Angel". Her name is Donna. The same name as my mother, which seems very fitting;-)

4-11-07 DTC!!! We type up our "Letter Of Intent" to adopt Meizi Meilin Rose

We receive a call from Heather, Great news, we are DTC, finally!!! YIPEEE!!!!
Now we have to type our letter of Intent to adopt Meizi Meilin Rose and promise to care for her, love her, never abandon or mistreat her and promise to seek the medical attention that she requires. We promise all this and much more. We are deeply in love with this little girl just from a little photo again. It is mystical and magical. She sleeps with a little towel;-) I know that she will love the comforters and warm, soft fringe blankets that I have been making to fund our adoption! I can't wait to make special blankets for her that I will lovingly choose just for her, just as I did for Jade Lin. All the months of wondering who our daughter would be, how old, where would she come from, what would she look like, how big would she be, all these questions are finally answered and I can sigh a little sigh of relief! We have found our daughter, or maybe she found us. God's plan was taking shape and we have a little peek at the path we will take on this journey. I am reminded of the Chinese Red Thread belief, it along with God's loving gift is showing us our destiny and the journey we are to take to bring Meizi Meilin home. We are excited to see where this journey will lead us!

4-3-07 REFERRAL DAY!!!!!!!!

The new waiting list of special needs children came in. Heather called us on Tuesday afternoon to tell us. There are three girls on the list. One is five years old with a heart condition, one is 16 months with Strabismus (turned in eyes) and one is 10 months old with Hep B. All are from the same orphanage in Guangdong. We tell Heather that we wish to review the two youngest girls files, because we want Jade Lin to be a real big sister, with a younger sister. Heather will be gone on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and we forget to ask our agency for photos, which is the way I know we will make our decision. Friday Heather sends us terrible black and white photos from her home scanner. Scott can see already that the little 16 month old girl is a "Cutie!!" and is drawn to her immediately. I'm not as sure from the bad photos. I tell Heather that we are considering both girls but need better photos. On Sunday, Heather e-mails us beautiful, clear, colored photos. I wonder if she drove into the agency on a Sunday for us and for these two girls and e-mailed the photos on her own time. What an angel! Maybe it was God and his angel but we decide instantly that Gao Shao Qiao, the 16 month little girl is our daughter!!! We are ecstatic!! We e-mail her medical info to the Internationl Adoption Clinic at the U of M and find out that Strabismus is a very curable condition and she with proper medical attention will be better then fine. She may require a minor surgery to align her eyes, maybe some eye patching therapy and maybe glasses but we are prepared, willing and blessed to have her and will do everything we can to help her and love her! The decision is amazingly easy. We find out later that our adoption worker had the same condition and received more postive information and one of the girls in our travel group also had one eye that she had treated for the same condition. It was so wonderful to have such positive information and stories. We knew we were able to provide the care that Gao Shao Qiao would need. We were on top of the world and couldn't wait to share the happy news and photo of our future daugthter!
Jade Lin almost instantly told us, " I want to name her Meizi Meilin Rose" which seemed to fit our daughter, amazingly and the moment I said the name, I knew it was destined to be her chosen name. How fitting that her big sister, Jade Lin would be the loving one to name her;-)

3-17-07

Tonight we attended Kelly's basketball tournament party. His team had a great year and they finished in 1st place. What a great team of boys! We will miss all the parents we have become friends with over the year. Kelly's coach gave him a wonderful tribute as he handed Kelly his trophy. He said" This is for the team member who always listened to me and never gave me any attitude. Who worked his hardest to improve and had the meanest, corner shot"! Kelly's smile lite up his whole face and his father and I couldn't have been prouder of him. We told the other parents that Kelly would have a new little Cheerleader at the games next year and the talk turned to adoption, my favorite subject;-) We were once again Ambassadors of China and the adoption process and educated the other parents on the process and how the well-oiled adoption wheels work in China. Loving the no surprises, consistent, dependable system. It was this system that brought us our 1st adopted daughter and we sang it's praises loudly, just in case there were parents who were pondering the adoption decision. We often found out later, after talking to other couples and parents that they were thinking of adopting internationally but had many questions and reservations till they talked to us and our story inspired them to start the adoption journey, which fulfills me and gives me a sense of purpose. I think adopting Jade Lin has had an impact and influence on many people, just as Rebekkah had on us, that cold winters night in December.

3-16-07

Today our dossier is sent to the Chicago Consulate to be authenticated. It will be mailed back to Crossroads and then on to China, which usually takes two weeks. Then we should be DTC (Dossier To China). That's when the official waiting period starts, it's the launching off of the adoption process in China. Our dossier is then given a log in date in China and we base our referral wait on that log in date. We will guess when our referral will come from that date and we are really in this for the long haul. The estimated time for a healthy infant referral is 18 months! I am not the young, patient parent that I was when waiting for Jade Lin's referral, of course at that time, five years ago, the referral wait was only 12 months. In a year you could be done with the paper process and have your baby home. Now there was a feeling of no end in site and again the sense of urgency consumed me, leaving me wonder where the urgent pull and determination was coming from to get our DTC as soon as possible. Only time will tell and God will reveal his plan in his own way, in his own time. I would have to depend on my faith as I have all my life to get me through and show me God's plan.

3-14-07 Crossroad's parent meeting

Tonight we attended a meeting at Crossroads to listen to parents that have adopted older children. We are excited because we are hoping that we find a toddler on the next waiting list. There were no little girls for us on the last list and it was heart breaking that the next list wouldn't be out for another 3 months. The wait wondering if our daughter will be on the next list is excruciating! I'm hoping that the information we receive at this meeting will be very positive and informative! I'm wondering how a toddler that only knows Mandarin will adjust to our home where we only speak Mandarin on a baby level and mostly English. I wonder how the bonding and attachment issues are dealt with and if our child will take to us. With Jade Lin it only took her a matter of a couple of hours. She cried the whole bus ride back to the hotel, cried through her 1st bath then I gave her a super warm bottle which she drank a couple of ounces and immediately fell asleep on the bed, sucking on the sleeve of her American jammies. When she awoke from her nap, she took me by the finger and led me to our hotel room door. We took her in the stroller and went our shopping. She was all smiles and loved and trusted us from that moment. Our hearts were hers, forever and we were madly in love with her. My heart was filled with such love and admiration and we only knew her for an hour. How did China match us with this angel? What magic was performed on that day that we would be so head over heels in love with a baby we had just met? I was in love with her since we first glanced at her referral photo only weeks ago. Was it God's loving work that I would first hold Jade Lin on my birthday in China and at the moment that she was placed in my arms, the birthday song would play from some where outside of the window? I have to believe it was God and destiny. It couldn't have been a more perfect or magical moment!

3-13-07 What a wonderful day!!

What a wonderful and exciting day! My web site if finally launched to sell my blankets and comforters for our adoption (www.designsbyjodilynn.com) and we received a call from Heather our social worker at Crossroads that our I-171H came so we should be Dossier to China (DTC) in a couple of weeks!! The journey is finally happening and we really will bring a little girl home! We are so blessed and thrilled!

2-25-07 Chinese New Years Celebration

2-25-07
We went to the Chinese New Years Celebration, given by the FCC-Midwest group. It was at the Fair Elementary school in Crystal, MN. We met two families we traveled to China with. It was such a surreal day. There were hundreds of Chinese children and their families there. Again, I was studying the little girls and wondering if our daughter would resemble any of the girls there. I was dreaming the whole time we were there and I was suppose to be selling my comforters and blankets to raise money for our adoption. I couldn't keep my mind on the task at hand. I was so awestruck by the beautiful children and dreamt of holding our daughter in our arms. Jade Lin had a fantastic time. There was a Chinese puppet show, Chinese dance troup, a Chinese acrobat group, face painting, crafts and Chinese story telling, a great time was has by all! I kept thinking next year, we would be attending the CNY celebration with our new daughter;-);-)

2-23-07 Agency receives our dossier

2-23-07
Kim, our dossier worker at Crossroads, received our dossier today and said we did a FANTASTIC job! "Now", she said, "The hard part starts, the wait to be DTC"! (Dossier to China) She is waiting for our I-171H approval from immigration to send all of our documents with our home-study to Chicago to be authenticated and then sent to China! At that time we will find out if we made it into group 100 or 101. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? 100th group to China! ;-) Every step we finish is one more step closer to bringing our new daughter home, and to be celebrated!

2-22-07 Our dossier is finished and sent to our agency in record time!

2-22-07
Our dossier is sent to our agency in record time! It took me half the time to complete then when we were paper chasing for Jade Lin. For some reason there is a sense of urgency with this adoption that I cannot explain. The new regulations won't affect us so that is not the reason to finish the paper work for this adoption. All I can come up with for a possible reason is, God is guiding us to prepare for our new daughter, maybe she is on the next waiting list. Time will tell;-)

2-15-07 Paper chasing for our dossier

We receive our dossier packet from our agency in the mail. We need 12 photos, two of Scott and I, one of the girl's room, one of the front of the house, and photos of us as a family, doing action activities, no posed photos. We also need to write an application letter and request to adopt. We need employers letters and a financial letter.We also need to ask our friends, John and Kathy for a guardian letter. They happily agree. We are so thankful and blessed! The paper chase for the dossier begins! Lots more paper work but we are keeping the end goal in site, bringing our daughter home!

2-07-07 Fingerprint appointments

2-7-07
We have our fingerprints taken today in St. Paul at the immigration office. Jade Lin fit right in, there are many adorable Asian girls there and I was dreaming of our new daughter and wondering how big she would be and how old. I couldn't take my eyes off the little girls and had a huge smile on my face the whole time I was there. I kept thinking, will she look like that little girl, will she be as big as her? Will she be walking? Talking? Will she have that much hair? I made it through the fingerprints without day-dreaming too much;-) Scott's and my fingerprints both turned out well! Thank God!

2-1-07, 2-2-07 Physicals for Scott and the boys

Scott and the boys have their physicals for the adoption and it will be the boy's 7th and 9th grade physicals for school. It is nice to kill two birds with one stone;-) We are all healthy and all tests came back normal, we are normal to adopt;-) Thank God!

1-31-07 Doctors physicals for our adoption

1-31-07
I have my doctor appointment today for our adoption. I tell my doctor how happy and excited we are to be adopting again and can't wait to have our new daughter home. He takes blood, checks my hearing, vision, weight, height and listens to my heart and lungs. I'm healthy to adopt! Thank God!!

1-30-07 Our home study visit

Heather, our social worker came today for our home visit. She is really nice and we all liked her. Jade Lin talked to her the whole hour and a half she was here;-) Jade Lin is really excited about having a little sister! Heather tells us we will probably be DTC (Dossier To China) in May and we will be in group 100 which is made up of 12 families! That is the largest group that Crossroads has ever had and due to the new restrictions that China will be putting in place, May 1st, 2007. Group 100 may be split up into two groups when we go to the Province that our child comes from because we are such a large group, the children may come from two orphanages and we would all meet up in Guangzhou to get the babies visas. We tell Heather that we are praying to find our new daughter on Crossroads waiting list and not wait the 16-18 month referral wait for a healthy baby, we are praying for a toddler 2-3 years old. She tells us this would shorten our wait to 10-12 months! We ask her when the next waiting list should be here? She tells us some time in February. We are so excited, our new daughter may be on that list!

1-22-07 The paperchase begins!

1-22-07
We mailed our application fee and the check for our 1st agency fee. We have sent for our background checks, police clearance letters and our I-600A form to get approval to adopt internationally and to have our fingerprints taken for our immigration clearance. We are on our way!!;-);-) The paper chase begins for our home study!!!

Our adoption journey begins!

12-06-2006
After faxing in our application to adopt again through Crossroads Adoption Services, we received our approval letter from Heather, our social worker to adopt from China again! We are so excited and ecstatic to be adding to our family again and God has surely led us on this path. If you had asked us 6 months ago, or even three months ago if we would adopt again, we would have told you our family is complete but God and his little angel, Rebekkah have opened our eyes and hearts to adoption again and we are so thankful! We are praying to to find a little girl who is 2-3 years old on our agencies special needs waiting list so that Jade Lin and her new sister will be close in age and grow up close. We are so excited to see where God leads us in this journey!